Idle hands and an idle mind are evidently not a good thing. The only problem is the alternative is spending all day dealing with thoughtless sheep en masse. Doing nothing and working are making me see red, propperly ruby red followed by a trippy purple most likely caused by straining my eyes every time I have to laugh falsely at something completely banal.
Im stuck at a point where everything is clear yet I have not the means to get where I need to be. I would take everything out on my drums (which is standard practise) if i hadn't of snapped my last pair of sticks five minutes into my last session... alas, I cannot afford another pair for two weeks. I seem to be reverting into the anti-social, wierd little freak that I remember being many years ago.
I can't smoke or drink which is a good thing where my health is concerned but I would be a lot more chilled out if I could. I can afford to do both of these, if only on a small scale but i know the temporary nature of the relief would only make me more angry at myself. The period of time folling the relief would also drop my mood even further.
I'm trapped, I have no inspiration for anything I usually love to do and I'm in danger of alienating the majority of the people I know. Times aren't good basically.
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